\"Imagine that every person you meet has an invisible cup of hot drinking chocolate. Every time you do something good for someone: help, support, praise \u2013 you pour them some chocolate. Every time you want something from someone \u2013 you reach out with a spoon to take a bit of that chocolate.\" <\/p>\n
This sentence encouraged me to read the wonderful book by Mi\u0142osz Brzezi\u0144ski titled \"Strokeology. How to Positively Influence Others and Increase Your Satisfaction. Actual Rules of Motivating and Understanding Motivation \u201c. Perhaps it spoke to me so strongly because I love chocolate, both solid and liquid, but chocolate is just a metaphor.
\nThe book's author develops this metaphor by citing the results of many different studies
\nand scientific experiments from the field of psychology. The approach to supporting others presented at the beginning leads to the following conclusions: relationships with people capitalize, meaning it's a kind of \"emotional bank account\u201d where we deposit our supply of chocolate.
\nYou need to deposit it regularly and remember to keep the chocolate from getting cold; it's up to us
\nwhat level of chocolate we leave the other person with; by supporting others I feel better myself \u2013 this way I take care of my own chocolate level in the cup and finally not using
\nthe opportunity to pour someone chocolate is simply wasting an opportunity. <\/p>\n
The author refers to the results of repeatedly conducted studies that suggest what the minimum proportion of \"strokes\" (positive interactions, support)
\nshould be in relation to messages that could undermine self-esteem (negative interactions, unconstructive criticism). It turns out that in private life it should be a minimum of five positive interactions to one negative, and in professional life a minimum of three to one.
\nInterestingly, people feel that messages are equal not when they actually are equal.
\nA negative message has much greater destructive power than a positive one has constructive power. Let's remember: for every three cases of gratitude, happiness, pride, satisfaction
\nand fulfillment \u2013 one case of anger, guilt and embarrassment (if it's actually needed
\nand justified). <\/p>\n
What does this give?
\nIt turns out that the consequences of such action have a very positive impact not only on our surroundings, but also on ourselves. If you want to find out what this mysterious science of strokeology is, how it works and how you can learn it, I highly encourage you to read Mi\u0142osz Brzezi\u0144ski's book.
\nIt won't be wasted time! It will be an investment. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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